hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
