Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
