i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
you had me at cake vodka
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
