As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
