god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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