Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
