my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
