I need help removing her.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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