you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
did i walk over a car last night?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
