i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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