i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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