i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
