How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
it glows. i had to have it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
