isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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