What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Can I color on your dick again?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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