if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
