This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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