if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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