I think scott just propositioned me for sex
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
