No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
