yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
