I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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