That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
