The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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