she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
