Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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