Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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