Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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