pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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