You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My penis needs a shock collar
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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