return my video game
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
