i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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