im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
