last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
