Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
