Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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