i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
