he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
