omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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