hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
