They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
this will be a night to untag.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
