Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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