Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
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