Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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