my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
