Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
