It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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