is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My feet surprised me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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