My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize