What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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