i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
