My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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