guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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