I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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