My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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