did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
