I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
