Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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