How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
