Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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