U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
