Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
