Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
